we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
