if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
