My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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