Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
