You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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