The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize