Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
