I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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