a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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