So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
