i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
