so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
