yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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