he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
