so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
These tits shall not be calmed
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