I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
