was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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