apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
