i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
