it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm getting married
To pizza
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
