a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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