So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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