Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
