if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
