Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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