Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
