I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
