My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
