I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
