Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
