seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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