he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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