Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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