Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
