I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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