I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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