suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
