One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
