Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So. Much. Porn.
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