$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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