i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
