The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
