dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
