Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
