it was like eating out sand paper
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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