My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i dont even know how to be here
she told me i tasted like america
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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