Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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