guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You ruined the universe
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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