I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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