Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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