as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
