I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
