just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
