I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
