hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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