After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
