We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
