Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
