he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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