So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
