I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
