The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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