Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
