My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize