Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
