This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just high enough for therapy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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