May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
