I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How does it feel to date your dad?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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