I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize