its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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