...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
