Is it normal to miss your booty call?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
