Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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