guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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