none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
