i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The air was thick with penises
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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