the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
