he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize