Ambien. No doubt about it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think my moral compass just broke
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