i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
