Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize