it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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