you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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