mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
