Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
