Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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